The decision has been made and you’re sure of it! You’re going to be lesbian mums together, but where do you start? Where do you go first? What methods are there?
We know you are full of questions and in this post we’re going to solve them all. We’re here for you!
Now that you have made the decision to become a lesbian mother you should start by visiting a medical centre.
During this visit, you will undergo general health tests to measure your overall fitness. They will also test different fertility indicators, paying close attention to the ovarian reserve, which is very important to this process.
To ensure the quality of the oocytes, egg freezing is becoming more and more popular. This procedure guarantees that, regardless of the age at which you decide to get fertility treatments, the oocytes will be good quality.
Which method should you choose to become a lesbian mother?
Now that you know your health and fitness you have to decide which treatment or method to use to become a mom.
The traditional method of having sex with a man is one of the options for becoming a mother. However, it does not ensure effectiveness and is not ideal for lesbians.
This involves placing the fertile spermatozoa in the uterus at the time of ovulation. The success rate is between 15% and 30%, which is difficult, but not impossible.
In vitro fertilization
In this method the eggs are extracted from one of the mothers; they are fertilised in a laboratory and then put back into the mother’s uterus. It is complex, but it has a 60% success rate.
This option is the one most likely to succeed.
Reception of Oocytes from the Partner (ROPA)
The ROPA method is the same as in vitro fertilization, but fertilised eggs are introduced into the uterus of the other mother.
Using this method both of you will actively participate in the process of becoming biological mothers: one as a genetic mother and the other as a pregnant mother.
The success rate is 60%, and it gives you both the chance of being involved in the process.
It is certainly the best option to become a lesbian mother with your partner.
The legal aspects are also an important part of becoming a lesbian mother. By law, the donation of eggs and sperm is anonymous.
Since 2005, Spanish legislation has allowed gay marriage; this provides lesbians with the same equal rights as heterosexual couples in matters such as assisted reproduction.
Under law 14/2006 of May 26, all women of legal age, under free consent, may undergo an assisted reproduction technique regardless of their marital status or sexual orientation.
This law was amended to recognise that both mothers are the parents of a child born through assisted reproduction techniques, regardless of the marital status of the couple.
However, in the ROPA method, the couple’s situation is important. Since it is not an egg donation, but the use of your partner’s embryos.
The legislation clearly states that these can only be provided “by the woman or spouse”, and therefore you must be married.
This is not the case with other assisted reproduction techniques. However, the ROPA method carries a higher emotional burden for lesbian mothers than other procedures.
If you have any questions you can contact us or go to an LGBTI association to receive all the legal information on this subject.
What is your decision?
We know that there are many decisions to make, but the most important one has already been made: you want to be mums.
You should choose a method depending on your marital status, but remember that the most important thing is mutual support.
Once you have considered both your medical and relationship status, the next step is to choose which one of you will be the pregnant mother and which will be a genetic mother, or both, if you choose the ROPA Method.
Together you will begin one of the most beautiful journeys. It’s time; you’re ready.
How did you start? Tell us your experience!