lesmaternity ser madre lesbiana

What you need to know to become a lesbian mother

The decision has been made and you’re sure of it! You’re going to be lesbian mums together, but where do you start? Where do you go first? What methods are there?

We know you are full of questions and in this post we’re going to solve them all. We’re here for you!


Doctor’s visit

Now that you have made the decision to become a lesbian mother you should start by visiting a medical centre.

During this visit, you will undergo general health tests to measure your overall fitness. They will also test different fertility indicators, paying close attention to the ovarian reserve, which is very important to this process.

To ensure the quality of the oocytes, egg freezing is becoming more and more popular. This procedure guarantees that, regardless of the age at which you decide to get fertility treatments, the oocytes will be good quality.


Which method should you choose to become a lesbian mother?

Now that you know your health and fitness you have to decide which treatment or method to use to become a mom.


Traditional method

The traditional method of having sex with a man is one of the options for becoming a mother. However, it does not ensure effectiveness and is not ideal for lesbians.


Artificial insemination

This involves placing the fertile spermatozoa in the uterus at the time of ovulation. The success rate is between 15% and 30%, which is difficult, but not impossible.


In vitro fertilization

In this method the eggs are extracted from one of the mothers; they are fertilised in a laboratory and then put back into the mother’s uterus. It is complex, but it has a 60% success rate.

This option is the one most likely to succeed.


Reception of Oocytes from the Partner (ROPA)

The ROPA method is the same as in vitro fertilization, but fertilised eggs are introduced into the uterus of the other mother.

Using this method both of you will actively participate in the process of becoming biological mothers: one as a genetic mother and the other as a pregnant mother.

The success rate is 60%, and it gives you both the chance of being involved in the process.

It is certainly the best option to become a lesbian mother with your partner.


Legal advice

The legal aspects are also an important part of becoming a lesbian mother. By law, the donation of eggs and sperm is anonymous.

Since 2005, Spanish legislation has allowed gay marriage; this provides lesbians with the same equal rights as heterosexual couples in matters such as assisted reproduction.

Under law 14/2006 of May 26, all women of legal age, under free consent, may undergo an assisted reproduction technique regardless of their marital status or sexual orientation.

This law was amended to recognise that both mothers are the parents of a child born through assisted reproduction techniques, regardless of the marital status of the couple.

However, in the ROPA method, the couple’s situation is important. Since it is not an egg donation, but the use of your partner’s embryos.

The legislation clearly states that these can only be provided “by the woman or spouse”, and therefore you must be married.

This is not the case with other assisted reproduction techniques. However, the ROPA method carries a higher emotional burden for lesbian mothers than other procedures.

If you have any questions you can contact us or go to an LGBTI association to receive all the legal information on this subject.


What is your decision?

We know that there are many decisions to make, but the most important one has already been made: you want to be mums.

You should choose a method depending on your marital status, but remember that the most important thing is mutual support.

Once you have considered both your medical and relationship status, the next step is to choose which one of you will be the pregnant mother and which will be a genetic mother, or both, if you choose the ROPA Method.

Together you will begin one of the most beautiful journeys. It’s time; you’re ready.

How did you start? Tell us your experience!

Testimonial by Laura and Raquel, lesbian mums using the ROPA Method

Laura and Raquel’s story of their journey is full of optimism and positivity that can help encourage other couples to take the plunge into becoming lesbian mothers.

This process is never easy, but we have seen that the ROPA method has the advantage of using the highest quality eggs.

We would love to help you make your dreams come true. Just like ours came true.

Here is their story and also a beautiful photograph that they sent.

Testimonial by Laura and Raquel.

Hi, we are Laura and Raquel.

After years of enjoying each other’s company, we decided we wanted to start a family and share our love with a baby.

Being two girls the process itself is not as romantic as the original idea.

Since I’m a very positive person I was convinced that we would be successful on the first try, but then we got some devastating news.

Some years ago I had been an egg donor, and now at 38 years old, my anti-mullerian hormone level (AMH) was low. This indicates that either I have few or low-quality follicles.

Despite this, we decided to go ahead with a round of IVF, but it was unsuccessful.

After this disappointment, we weren’t so positive anymore. We decided to go in a different direction, so we contacted LESMATERNITY.

They recommended the clinic that they work with and we really liked the one-on-one treatment that they provide for homosexual couples. They are very detail oriented and adapt to what works for your family. It saved us a lot of headaches and mistakes like which medication to take, and when to take it in order to get the sperm ready.
We decided to give my eggs another try to see if even with the low anti-mullerian hormone it could work, but it was a no-go. So, we cancelled that round since it was just going to hurt our chances.
Then, they recommended that we try the ROPA method and we thought it was such a romantic notion of being able to share this maternity journey together.

Now we were both involved, one was going to knead the dough and the other was going to bake it.
After two failed attempts, we were revitalised. Now we had to wait.

The day we took the test it all started in the bathroom, we looked at it for what seemed like forever until the little screen read “pregnant”.

We couldn’t believe it! The stick was still trying to calculate how far along.

It seemed like maybe this time it was true!

While hugging and crying, we had every thought you can think of go through our heads, such as, the test was wrong and that it was just playing a prank on us, and that in a couple of weeks it would be negative. Our minds were racing.

Slowly we realised that it was true, that the test was right and we were beyond happy.

It was a perfect pregnancy! On the 40th week, this little baby arrived and he’s stolen our hearts.

It was an amazing experience, and we recommend it. Does it change your life? Yes. It’s a new stage in our lives, and now all the problems that we had in the beginning seem so far away. Every time I see his smile I know it was worth it!

Stay positive girls!


Laura, Raquel and Quim